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3 Strategies For Managing Overwhelm

3 Strategies For Managing Overwhelm
Financial, Holiday Or Otherwise

Photo by Bob Stovern

I wrote this piece and posted it to Facebook in October 2017 to help combat the overwhelm we were all feeling, given consecutive hurricanes, fires, politics and the shootings we were living through as a nation. Since then, one national and global event after another has continued to roll through our lives. After reviewing the article, I believe it serves greater and deeper purpose, whether we’re facing a large event or dealing with our finances or preparing for the holidays. Read on for three strategies to help you keep things in perspective.

In the several days leading up to the shooting in Las Vegas, I kept scrounging for all the peace t-shirts in my closet — not knowing why and wondering why. I kept thinking, “I have more peace t-shirts here somewhere.” And then I wore them, one day after another right into the day of the shooting wondering why am I wearing “Imagine the world living in peace?” And then I knew.

When Bob, my husband, and I heard the news, one of the first things I did was step outside and tune in with my inner voice. What did I hear? I heard, “Disconnect from the news today and hold the space of peace today.”

So, I did. I left the news alone. I stayed out of social media. I stepped back into my office where I prepared for my litany of phone appointments, lit candles, and came into some calm with meditation and breathing. As I held that space, I felt the room and then our home and then our property shift with energy and light up with an incandescent white and gold light that I love so much. I felt like we were a floating, lighted pod of peace in the storm that happened that day and beyond. Through the day I heard again and again, “Be the change you want to see in the world. Do not buy into the agitation of the news. Hold that peace energy.” We held space that day in that way.

Why do I share this story with you? Why is it so important given the events of that day and the ones that have followed and will continue to follow? Because although we’re living in a time that can easily whipstitch us from one side of our ships to the other at a moment’s notice, we still have a choice.

Let me repeat that so you don’t skim over it. No matter how drama-filled, pain-filled, chaotic-filled the news is or your life is, YOU STILL HAVE A CHOICE in how you want to respond.

The morning of the Las Vegas shooting I exercised my choice by stepping away, getting quiet, listening to my inner world so that I could hear better choices. It helped. It worked that day.

So, TIP #1 – Strategies For Managing Overwhelm Is:
Give yourself the momentary room and quiet to check in with your personal choices about what is right for you in any given event, personal or global.

Next, as the news of the Las Vegas shooter unfolded over the days, it was easy to get sucked into what we were told. What we weren’t told. What was real. What was fake. What was adding up. What was not adding up. And then have an opinion about it. It was very dark and ugly energy.

Again, every time I felt myself getting sucked into the details of this horrid shooting, I felt my inner presence ask me, “Are you sure you want to do that? You care, but do you want to get sucked in?” So, I returned to that calm, grounded and lighted energy space again and again of peace, calm and stability.

Every time I practiced this there was a feeling of “Hold the energies of higher vibration so those around you can feel it and hold that space too.” There was a distinction of holding light in the dark.

Although I’ve known all this for awhile, it’s easy to forget. The increased actions on the planet of severe weather, drama and politics is so easily distracting, confusing and sometimes trauma-filled. Having daily reminders that it is totally possible and within our reach to grasp and practice energies of calm, of light, of love —  and that this creates good space is refreshingly helpful.

So, Tip #2 – Strategies For Managing Overwhelm Is:
Know that darkness and ugliness is not the only truth and we are in the process of shedding old, lower vibrational energies. Give yourself that daily reminder, whatever it is, that no matter how ugly things get, “It’s all good. We can do this. We can chose transformational and better energies in the middle of dark and ugly chaos.”

The last part of the story I have to share with you is about protecting your emotional bandwidth. Yes, I get that many of you who follow my posts are highly sensitive people with deep compassion. Yes, I get that somedays you care so much that you ache when people’s homes burn and people die in senseless shootings and precious animals are carried away by hurricane waters while homes flood and so much more.

Yes, the bandwidth of your ability to help, to respond, to be present is getting worn a bit thin. We’re in fatigue. It’s hard to know what to respond to and what to do. We are experiencing loss and the cycles of grieving, to greater and lesser degrees, that go with it.

Now, what I’m about to say is going to sound so strange leading up to Tip #3. What I’m going to say is counter-intuitive to what we believe we need to do. Part of Tip #3 is this: YOU COME FIRST.

Yes, I know I know, we’ve all been taught (or most of us have been taught) to be altruistic. It’s hard wired within us. We can’t help it. But believe it or not, for Tip #3, you need to begin from the place of realizing that no matter what happens on the planet, by you coming first for yourself, it allows you to take care of yourself. And in taking care of yourself, it means that you are providing your own self replenishment. If you are replenished, then you can still continue to be here to help others while we move through this landscape of an evolutionary marathon. So, your self care is paramount to pacing yourself during this incredible time.

So, Tip #3 – Strategies For Managing Overwhelm Is:
Let yourself come first in self care. Give yourself that self care. Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. By doing these two things, it means that when you are called to help in very specific ways with your own intuitive guidance — you’ll be ready.

That means, when you check in with Tip #1 and you hear your inner guidance, you’ll have the bandwidth to respond to whatever it is that you are specifically guided or called to do. Whether that is being present with calm all day involving an event. Or donating money. Or showing up as a volunteer. Or reaching out in communication.

This is how Cajun Navies manifest overnight. How homeowners become safe havens for immigrants. How simple communications on GoFundMe become a lifesaver for someone in need. How truck drivers fly to Puerto Rico to help move supplies to hurricane survivors. How furniture stores become safe havens in the storm. How random acts of kindness keep the fabric of our communities stitched together.

And hopefully, these practices mean that we won’t burn out and grow numb, but instead, have a process to stay intelligently present and transform with the times.


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The Vulnerable Power Of The Ask

The Vulnerable Power Of The Ask
Our Miraculous Journey Into Home Ownership

 

Our journey into home ownership began simply with the desire to claim our own destiny. My husband, Bob, and I were tired of living under the obligation of others’ whims and it was time for a change. There is no better symbol of claiming your life than by taking ownership of your emotional home — and that manifestation can happen as home ownership.

The short version of the story goes like this:

Our new home on Pitkin Mesa, North Fork, Colorado. (Photo by Bob Stovern).

Four years ago, during the middle of the summer, the landlord we were renting from here on Pitkin Mesa in the North Fork of The Gunnison Valley (Colorado) did us a surprising solid. He offered to sell us the home we were living in through an owner carry option. (Owner carry means that he would sell us the home and carry back the note for a certain period of time. Essentially, he became the bank until we could refinance the note to a traditional bank loan). The house had been on the market for more than a couple of years and he was eager to sell and we were terrified but eager to buy.

The longer version of the story goes like this:

The offer of this home through an owner carry was a miracle. When we left Durango, Colorado, our soul focus was to purchase our first home — this dream was a near impossibility given that we’d been through financial hell after losing our son and after me nearly losing my life. We had done our best to get back on our feet, but as we left Durango and moved to Paonia, Colorado, saying we were going to purchase our own home was exactly like saying we were going to piss into a stiff, cold wind and stay dry and warm.

The truth was that we’d been so physically and emotionally pushed to our limit at our old rental location in Durango, Colorado that I truly felt I could never ever rent from a landlord again. The rental situation at our cabin on the stunning Florida Mesa above the Animas River Valley, in view of the La Plata Mountain Range, had turned into a subtle living nightmare. Our landlords, who lived in a home adjacent ours, had gone a bit nuts over the five years that we’d rented there.

By the time we moved out, I was praying we’d get out in one piece before they did any of the following. Take your pick:

  • Blew something up — The dead cottonwood tree they’d neglected to consciously cut down ended up falling during a high wind storm, landing on the other tenant’s porch next to the propane tank creating a silent leak that could have set off the 50,000 psi British Petroleum pipeline nearby.
  • Broke something — In the last months, they were systematically digging up trenches all over the property for irrigation without warning.
  • Snowed us in — During the final two winters we lived there, they simply refused to help with digging out the eighth of a mile lane from snow saying, “We’ll just wait for it to melt”.
  • Instigated visits from the Sheriff’s Department — They broke their restraining order multiple times with our other neighbor while Bob interceded on several occasions.

The cabin on Florida Mesa, south of Durango, Colorado, overlooking the Animas River Valley. (Photo by Bob Stovern).

Yes, the tension was so great that I physically swore I would never rent again, even though I had no idea how we would buy. Given our situation, we were no dream picture for a bank.

So, when Jim made the offer in Paonia, Colorado to sell us the home we were living in, it was a miracle. Jim decided that we were taking such good care of his property — the best he’d ever seen in tenants — that he thought we’d make great owners. What made this even more magical is that his offer nearly matched, line-item-by-line-item, another owner carry deal we’d tried to secure earlier in our move. It had failed.

That failed deal became the open door to the miracle of claiming our new home. It all began when I became so determined never to rent again that I talked Bob into boldly (or stupidly) shopping for a new home without having any idea how it was going to work.

It was in that space of bold determination coupled with the ridiculousness (or idiocy) of no plan, when the first owner-carry situation landed in our lap. Literally. Through connections, we learned about a half-finished home one of the many mesas in the North Fork. The owner was ready to let go of his beloved space, but the property was not yet on the market.

Through conversations and visits with the property owner, we thought for sure a property deal would work out. The signals from Spirit World were all green lights until the day of offering the deal. That’s the day a fist-sized rock fell from the mountain, hitting the front grill of our car as we traveled over Red Mountain Pass on the way to the North Fork. That’s the day we spotted a coyote (the trickster) in the field adjacent our sleep accommodations. And right before the meeting, a deadly Black Widow spider crawled out of a chair. Those were all red light omens after having one green light after another.

Despite the signals, we had to follow through. I remember sitting with Paul, the owner, and Bob and Paul’s wife in the cold room of the kitchen basement with a shaft of spring afternoon light beaming through the window onto the wood surface of the kitchen table. When the conversation turned to the deal, I sketched the outline of what I thought would work on a yellow notepad, making the offer and pushing it across the table.

I have never felt so vulnerable in my life. Little did Bob and I know, in those moments, we were in the sacred and powerful space of the vulnerability of the ask. It’s the place where there is great power, poignancy, and yet a space of being completely unshielded in your vulnerability. All you can do is just breathe and be.

During that quiet, pin-drop-of-a-time in the kitchen, as I sketched the deal and then Paul read my writing, I felt the presence of several Ascended Masters and Arch Angels materialize in light around me and around the table. Their presence and power was so palpable I felt one of them holding me with his hand on my shoulder. I heard another of them say to me, “Just write it out and hold presence with it. That’s all you have to do.” Once I pushed the notepad to Paul, I heard the last phrase, “It is done now.”

And I thought that meant we’d worked out the deal.

That was not the case. During the meeting, Paul said that he would take some time in consideration. Later, he let us know that he could not accept our offer. That evening, I felt like I was tumbling off the side of a cliff. We’d already given notice in Durango and now we had no space to move to in Paonia.

But you know that thing about some of God’s greatest gifts being unanswered prayers?

When the deal fell through, Bob and I scrambled to find a new place to live in the North Fork. We were able to secure another month of extension on our old space and then we never worked so hard to find a new place to live. Week after week we made volleying drives from Durango to Paonia, Colorado, a four to five-hour trip, trying to locate our new home. I was demoralized that we were going to have to rent again and the pickings were slim.

We reached the point of no return. Our time in Durango was running out, money for hotel stays was running out — we’d scoured the valley and we still hadn’t found anything in Paonia. On a poignant spring evening during our search, we were camping by the edge of the Gunnison River at Pleasure Park east of Paonia and Hotchkiss, Colorado. That night, I visited the women’s shower room to wash. I was by myself, right before my shower, after a long day of searching, feeling homeless when my deceased Grandmother Newby materialized beside me. I felt her maternal energy encouraging me that everything was going to be okay, even if it didn’t feel that way. She encouraged me that my real estate offer was not folly. (I’d been beating up on myself for being an idiot). I felt her let me know that our family had lived through much worse during the Depression. I felt her let me know that I would always have a roof over my head. Her presence and message delivered the waves of tears and crying that I needed. That night, I padded back to the tent and Bob, freshly showered, lighter and hopeful.

Mountain view from the living room of our new home. (Photo by Bob Stovern).

It wasn’t long after that, somehow, we allowed ourselves to fall into renting a home on a month-to-month lease. The rub was that the home was on the market for sale and could sell out from under us at any moment. The home was also trashed from the previous tenants. And the home was three times the size we were looking for. All of these were things we thought we didn’t want.

In other words, the place was a big fat “NO”, but we were two weeks out from the move and we had to take it. I told a friend in Fort Collins, “OMG, we just signed papers on renting a home that I can’t remember the interior because it was so trashed. What are we doing?!” That’s when we tilted into the whirlwind of a life change that we could not have anticipated.

Yes, we moved our lives across the state to this mystery property. The 4,000 square foot space came with two and a half acres of yard, an elk fence and gate with water rights and a phenomenal view of mountains including the fantabulous Mount Gunnison. The landlord helped us with the initial cleanup that we continued. Gradually, we realized that every single wish on our list for a dream property, this property and home had for us. We gradually realized the sweetness of the water. The amazing view. The resources of the space. The garage and workspaces. The energy of the yard. Bee space. A private orchard. A lovely neighborhood with great neighbors and fields and organic orchards. We realized the Universe was answering our vulnerable ask and wish list with this property.

The only question was, “Were we paying attention?”

Just about that time, Jim called and offered us the property with the owner carry. The miracle, it turns out, was that Jim’s offer was just about the same deal I’d written on that yellow notepad not four months prior. It was as if the Universe was saying to me, “Dana and Bob, same deal, but not that property, take this one.”

We closed on our new home with minimal negotiations about two months later. We became homeowners of a property and home that seemed beyond our wildest imaginations. I still wonder how this has all worked, and how we’re still doing it, but we are — growing and expanding to hold space with this phenomenal space. This is not a home we would have chosen for ourselves — but the Universe chose for us. It dreamed us up much larger than we realized we could. And we are so lucky — every single day.

As a post script to this story, what is truly amazing is that a year, nearly to date in the spring, following the attempt at our first owner carry home deal, we heard that the first property owner sold his property . . . for pretty much the same deal that I’d written on the notepad in the first place.

That’s when I understood that writing out the first vulnerable offer and holding space with it was the most powerful and valuable thing Bob and I could have done for ourselves and Paul and his wife. We were breaking through to the Universe with two potential property deals, not one, with an authentic power of a vulnerable ask — and the Universe answered to all of us.


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From A Banning To A Breakthrough

From A Banning To A Breakthrough
How Getting Banned From A Local Chamber Business Conference
Transformed Into A Breakthrough

Dana - Evolve - May 2017

Dana Stovern, Money Medium – Vending Booth At Evolve Expo, May 2017

Setting The Stage:
At the beginning of July I received a phone call from the director of the local chamber of commerce over the mountain from me. She was calling to tell me that my business, The Magic Of Somatic Money, was being banned from the annual September business conference.

I was so shocked by the news that I could hardly speak. It sounded so ridiculous. My mind raced through how this could have happened . . .

I signed up for membership in January 2017 with one of the distinct reasons for membership being to attend the business conference as a vendor. I did not make this a secret to the director — speaking to her about it at least three to four times over the course of months. So, the news that I was being banned was a surprise.

As I learned the details, the fallout looked like this: The elders at the church where the venue was being held were banning me because quote, “You and your business are psychic and we don’t allow psychics.” The chamber was falling into step with this decision allowing the church elders to determine chamber membership policy.

I hung up the phone from the conversation with my head spinning and my heart hurting, and half in agreement with the director to accept an olive branch of an alternate marketing offer that the chamber was giving me. Yet, even in the shock of the moment, my stomach felt sick from doing so. The director seemed to think that this decision was “okay” given that I have an alternative business and treating alternative businesses like this is acceptable.

Steaming In The Brew
Against my better judgement of writing in the heat of the moment, I threw out a lifeline on Facebook about the situation asking for help and clarity in the middle of the chaotic numbness I felt. For twenty-four hours I watched comments flow, tracked what my body was telling me, and emailed the director once with a set of rational questions for clarity.

Through the triggered muck of the situation, the clarity that rose in me was this:

  • I could not accept the olive branch. It was a sellout that made me feel sick to my stomach.
  • I also knew I could not go quietly. This was an example of the subtle and systematic discrimination that non-traditional businesses ritually experience.
  • It was time for me to create my own set of asks. Several FaceBook suggestions stood out clearly.

Making A Stand
After taking 24 hours from the time the director called me, I decided to reject being pacified and raise my objections. In other words, I decided not to be spiritual PC and roll over and take it, and instead, grow a backbone and speak up.

I wrote to the director explaining that they, the chamber, were allowing another member, the church, to set chamber membership policy when the chamber needed to be backing my membership in the first place. I quoted their very own chamber by-laws to them saying that they were to uphold “holding events for membership in non-sectarian and bi-partisan ways.” This situation with the church was NOT an example of their by-laws.

In light of this, my asks were two-fold. One, I asked that they change future venues so that ALL MEMBERS could participate. I asked for a refund on my membership since The Magic Of Somatic Money was be being banned from an event that I had a right to attend.

Getting Passed Up The Line
The director promptly passed me and my message to a chamber board member who, over-the-phone, tried to smooth over my heated words of “discrimination” and a few too many cuss words on my part. When the conversation came out in the wash, there was agreement that something was wrong and something needed to be voiced, especially since other non-traditional businesses had also been banned from this event in previous years. I was just the first one to call foul. So, my complaint was taken to the chamber board and discussed — very heatedly.

Transformational Leverage
The result? In short, initially, a new venue was set up for the 2018 business conference AND upon a re-request (with some leverage) to allow the presence of me and my business at this year’s venue, the elders decided it would be alright for me and The Magic Of Somatic Money to be there.

I experienced my “wow” moment, realizing what a redemption this was — and all from using my voice. What an opportunity for integrated healing.

So, I’m in. I’m sponsoring a Magic Of Somatic Money table at this year’s local chamber business conference — excited to launch my first wave of business-to-business services, especially in the form of lunch and learns for organizations and businesses and somatic money classes for employees.

Thoughts From The Rear View Mirror
More than anything, this situation brought to light for me a very curious thing that happens for spiritual entrepreneurs: so many of us run our businesses in the subtle shadow of being banished, shamed, criticized, ostracized and made fun of. Running a business is hard enough, but doing it with this element makes it that much more difficult, especially when you’re one of the more sensitive in the continuum of the population.

I cannot tell you the times I’ve been name-called and shunned and ostracized from the viable places and people and situations where I totally had a right to do business; where I could totally provide help and illumination and insight. And I almost fell down that dark hole again . . .

In the middle of this quagmire, I seriously questioned saying anything. The shadow world of doubt and fear crept in like a well-known cousin asking if me and my business were valid in the first place. I felt small. Then, the code in our spiritual community of “not making waves” and “turning another cheek” and “live and let live” and “don’t take it personally” all knocked on the door, encouraging me to keep quiet.

None of these fit. The fear, doubt and the sick feeling in my stomach gave way to a wave of anger that eventually settled into balanced power in my belly letting me know that I had a right to say something. I had a right to speak up.

For some reason, a group of people that I don’t even know on the board of directors, were in enough alignment of the idea that a ban was not a positive way to go for their community, they chose to back me in my voice for change.

Living through this experience, let me know that taking the risk to speak up was worth it in light of hope for the possibility of transformational change in the world.


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It’s Okay To Be Picky

Trends In Somatic Money Coaching

It’s Okay To Be Picky!
The value of your discernment, boundaries and vetting practices
in the spiritually conscious business community.

It’s true. Doing business in the spiritual and consciousness community is more loosey-goosey than regular brick and mortar or traditional businesses. After sixteen years of spiritual path and nearly eleven years as a spiritual coach, with over five of those as a spiritual money coach, I’ve witnessed and experienced the depths of this loosey-goosey business climate.

Don’t get me wrong. Somehow, it works, in its loosely knitted ways. Sure, it’s definitely worked for me, both as a practitioner and as client . . . to a point. That point happened when I had more than one “Come To Jesus Meeting” with myself as a working practitioner about paying my utility bills and rent bills and grocery bills in 2010 and 2011. It also came to a point as a client when I realized I’d grown enough that I required more quality in the practitioners I hired than adventure.

That’s when reality set in and I had to get picky. I had to learn how to discern in the spiritual community. It turns out that discernment, in the spiritual community, regularly falls into the realm of subtle, unspoken taboos. That taboo has something to do with being in the flow of “spiritual correctness” rather than checking in with your own needs. It has something to do with a fear of appearing to have too much ego. It has something to do with guilt and shame about actually asking for your needs to be met, instead of settling. This combination is lethal when it comes to claiming the value of personal discernment.

But I knew I had to do something to find my way through the fog . . .

I had to finally own that it was and is okay to have standards of quality for my personal needs. I learned that it’s okay to vet your potential practitioners and clients. I learned that it’s okay to have boundaries. AND I realized that this standard of quality, practiced with compassionate boundaries, is probably as and more important in the spiritual and consciousness community because of routine loosey-goosey business practices.

That was a pretty profound stand to personally take. It didn’t happen overnight.

For a long time, I couldn’t get over the impending guilt I felt for having to be particular. I apologized and gave qualifiers for my own needs, while being overly judicious with others. I was concerned that I might appear too, well, snooty.

What changed all this? One too many times of paying for damage, not healing, on “well-meaning” practitioner’s tables. And on the other side of the table? More than enough burn-out from carrying the spiritual baggage of my clients to provide them with the catharsis or relief they needed at the cost of my own well being.

I know, I have a serious martyr’s crucifixion complex that I am very aware of transforming. (That’s another story for another day).

You know how I found my freedom from all this? Getting pissed off. With myself. That’s right. I had to own all of it — and somehow, I found that pathway through rounds of righteous rage, righteous indignation, that occasionally included every swear word in the book. You know the kind — like sitting in your car and blowing off steam to no one in-particular except to the Big Guy (or Gal) upstairs. Yeah. That.

That steam-blowing opened the door to giving myself permission to have a standard of quality that fit for me. Discernment. Vetting. Boundaries. I began to have a bit of a secret and sometimes public attitude about not being guilted and shamed back into a box for being “too big for my britches” or fear of “not being spiritually correct enough” or “not being a nice girl.” It eventually spilled over into sarcastic spiritual sass and spiritual irreverence and sometimes, the Spock raised eyebrow accompanied with a smirk and head shake.

That’s when being grounded in my body happened with the knowledge of recognizing my own needs and allowing them to meet with the strength of emotional intelligence for compassionate boundaries.

And you know what happened then? It all contributed to a better stage of clients and better pay. It’s helping me find practitioners who are better suited to help me with my needs. It helped me decrease my debt and negotiate for the purchase of our home. It’s also saved me time, money, hassles, grief and other people’s drama.

It turns out, boundaries and discernment and vetting is not only good for emotional health, it’s good for the wallet.

Trends In Somatic Money Coaching is about the repeated themes I see happen within a month in light of client conversations, money themes and personal experiences. Please leave your comments below.


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Your Empowered Negotiation

A Money Magic Moment

LADIES!
About Your Empowered Negotiations

 

Recently, I’ve experienced a series of sessions with female clients that bring to light a collective message about negotiation. This message is for all of us regarding empowering women and especially empowering women in the workplace, in business.

To set the stage, the theme of the message is about negotiating for better pay, better benefits and better working conditions. The message shows up when I’m looking through the energy viewfinder into the light-field of a client’s life with the intent of helping them create this for themselves.

And do you know what I’m finding?

I’m finding that as a cultural collective, ladies, few of us have a collective memory of empowered negotiation in the workplace or in business. How does this work?

It looks like this – let’s look at the physical and energy facts.

  • It was only two to three generations ago that women were still considered the property of men – and the property that belonged to women was considered the property of men. Even money. When she was alive, my grandmother occasionally told me stories about her memories of seeing women treated as property – her mother included. My grandmother was born in 1907 and came of age in the 1920’s. Women had few negotiating rights. Yes, that profoundly changed with the Suffragette Movement, Rosie the Riveter, the Civil Rights and Women’s Rights Movement and more.
  • We also know spiritually, that energetically, our light-field bodies house the vibrational gene pool of the past seven generations of our families. (And our lives affect those seven generations forward in our familial line.) So, ladies, energetically, we are vibrating only two to three generations out, in a seven generation time-line, from that old collective memory of having little to no negotiating rights for our own property, our working rights, our voting rights and who we are.
  • And scientifically, we are also learning that the genes, the DNA in our bodies holds information from our relatives, our family line. So that means we physically carry this coding, in our bodies, about how empowered, or not, that we are in light of our negotiating power in business and in the workplace.

Now that I’ve laid out some of the landscape, let me show you the energy evidence I’m finding.

When I look down that rabbit-hole of the quantum light energy field with clients into negotiating for better pay, benefits and working conditions, the energy of negotiation is frequently BLANK. As in, the vibrational energy of thought of concept of idea to negotiate on one’s behalf for personal rights in better pay, benefits and working conditions – the presence of it isn’t even there.

Sometimes, when I ask women about the thought of negotiating for better pay, benefits and working conditions the response is . . . “I can do that? I have the right to negotiate?” It’s asked first from a place of potential and then from a place of personal right.

Other responses are, “I don’t believe or feel that I have a right to even ask to negotiate.”

And the show-stopper is, “I’m afraid if I negotiate, I’ll lose what I already have.”

All of these are anchored in the recent collective generational memory of our heritage. Imagine a woman with no civil rights from the 1890’s. First, she doesn’t even think she has a right to negotiate. Then, if she does have the right, there’s a concern of the guilt or shame of negotiating being allowed. Lastly, there is the taboo fear of losing what she already has if she steps up to the negotiation plate. Does any of this sound familiar?

Much of this is energetically and emotionally alive today in 2016!

Those are three pretty big blocks relating to personal negotiation:

  1. Is negotiation possible? Is it even a potential?
  2. If it is a potential, do I have the right to negotiate?
  3. If I negotiate, will I lose what I already have?

These are significant concerns, especially if they are embedded in the familial lineage, in the energy field, in the body – because it makes access to negotiation seem distant or not even a reality.

And what I want you to know is that negotiation is one of our soverign birthrights and that it’s time to shatter this old restrictive paradigm and transform it to something much more empowered for all of us.

As a supportive statistical side-note, I think you’ll find Sheryl Sandberg’s TED Talk about women at the top very interesting. Sandberg is the COO of Facebook who wrote about the phenomenon of women dropping out at the top. She has found that 57% of men in corporate America automatically believe and actively seek negotiation in their business deals and employment. Only 7% of women actively negotiate. That is a significant statistical difference, and it points to the energy evidence I’ve been witnessing in my work with clients.

Upon further research, Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever in “Ask For It” reconfirm Sandberg’s numbers quoting that four times as many men negotiate for an increase in pay at the time of a job offer than women do.

Even though, as women, we won the right to vote several generations ago, and we’ve become so much more socio-economically empowered, there is still a predominate emotional pattern, and subconscious thought pattern that negotiating for the rights of our better pay, benefits and working conditions is an anomaly, not the norm.

Ladies, we are living in the blank spot, the gap, of having rights, but only passively allowing the sovereign birthright of our negotiating power to silently float right by us.

So, the message that I want to get in front of you with today and I want you to hear it loud and clear is:

“Own your sovereign birthright to negotiate on your behalf for the betterment of your life, your work and your pay.” 

That means you have a right to sit at the negotiating table. You have a right to speak up. You have a right to ask. Without excuse or apology, it is your right to know your truth, know who you are and voice your negotiating terms: your value and benefit in light of the service you offer to provide solution for others.

When it comes to negotiating for better pay, benefits and working conditions, there are three basic terms you need to be clear about:

  1. What is the job at hand and what is required to complete that job.
  2. What are the skills, experience, gifts, tools that you bring to deliver the completion of that work. (Your value).
  3. What do you need supportively to do this job to the best of your ability (this is pay, benefits, working conditions, resources).

Is learning how to negotiate easy? At first, it’s not particularly easy, especially if you do not have a collective familial lineage to draw upon.

For many of the women I work with, when we arrive at the potential of them negotiating on their own behalf, the lack of having the familial lineage memory of a right to negotiate is emotionally crippling. (Yes, I’ve experienced it too). And in some cases, the familial lineage discourages empowered negotiation.

Yet, all of this is totally possible to overcome: To learn new negotiating skills; To create experience to build upon for yourself and for the future generations of women in your family.

What are the answers here?

We are the answer. Ladies, if your familial lineage lacks a memory of negotiating on behalf of yourself for the betterment of your life . . . well, then, it’s up to you to begin to build that familial lineage memory. This is what Ascension is all about – the upward mobility of positive, creative, constructive, empowered action on behalf of our generational familial lineage – even if our families don’t like or understand it.

We are the answer, just like our grandmothers were who went to bat for our right to vote. Just like the generation of the 60’s who peaced-out, protested, burned bras, fought their way into the work place and fought for the Civil Liberties we have today. Gloria Steinem’s generation gave us a helluva seat at the table to negotatiate. Isn’t it time we used it to negotiate for the betterment of our lives?

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Here are three great somatic money tools you may begin to use now
as a foundation in support for your negotiation actions:

Click Here: THREE FREE SOMATIC MONEY CLASSES

____________________________________________

Be sure to leave your Money Magic Moments and comments below.

Dana Stovern, money medium, helps business-oriented intuitives
solve money issues from the inside out.

She can be reached at dana@somaticmoney.com

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Making Money Real

A Money Magic Moment

Making Money Real
#1 Somatic Money Step — The Slow Money Movement

 

When Money Isn’t Real
More than once I’ve heard my clients and consultees say to me — sometimes in frustrated tones, sometimes in fearful tones — “Money isn’t real to me.”

Given that our money is becoming more and more ephemeral in our digitally driven economy, those questioning the “realness” of money have a good point. With the flick of a wrist, we sling plastic cards through digital machines that move our money with the ease of air. The majority of employers and contractees, silently drop magical amounts of money into their employees and contractors bank accounts, making the days of picking up a pay check, endorsing it on the back, filling out a deposit slip and driving it to the bank more anomaly than the norm. It’s no wonder that we are experiencing difficulty in sensing a connection with our money, making that money real.

The distinction between money as a physical object (the masculine) and money as a vibrational concept (the feminine) is becoming more and more pronounced. We used to physically relate with money, more in terms of the valuation of it on paper, in cash and coins — creating a closer connection with money. Now we’re relating to our money in terms of credit cards and numbers glimmering on a digital screen, widening that connection gap. It’s no wonder we are experiencing less and less physical connection with money and more and more interaction with money as an idea, a vibration, a concept. The chasm of connection has widened.

What to do? What do we do to create the connection between the concept of our money and the reality of our money?

What do I tell my people when they are frustrated with “the realness” of money? I visit with them about how fast they eat.

What the heck does the pace of how fast you eat your food have in common with your money?

A lot, it turns out.

What Do Money And Food Have In Common?
Money and food closely relate. Money relationship sits in the second chakra of sex, partnership, creation, money and reflection. It’s the water chakra. Food relationship sits just above in the third chakra, the sun center of our personal power. It’s not an accident that great food, money and sex intermingle naturally. It’s also not an accident that “being broke” and “being hungry/starved” are also closely related.

More than once I’ve heard my clients refer to money in food descriptors. “Money is a feast and famine relationship for me.” Or “How delicious it is to have ample or voluptuous money.” Or “How nauseous they felt in relationship to a sour money deal.” The deal turning their stomach like bad food.

Noticing how you describe your money in food terms will tell you a great deal about how you are relating with your money, especially in light of your personal power (solar plexus). This is a key space for revelation — not to mention making money more real.

Lately, in light of this, I’ve noticed myself coining a popular food phrase that I would love for you to try out. You’ve heard of the Slow Food Movement? This is a healthy food movement designed to slow people down and relate with their food again. You know. Cook meals. In kitchens. Grow vegetables. In gardens. Cook a meal in a slow cooker. Sit down at tables together and . . . talk.

We’ve grown accustomed to texting and photographing and socially posting a fast food, easily accessible food environment, where the dreams of our food fantasies are conjured rapidly for us. And devoured as rapidly. The Slow Food Movement is about slowing down and savoring our food in a healthy way. Tasting our food. Digesting our food. Communing with food. Relating with food.

Guess what? The same is apparent to me about money and money relationship. If there is one message that Spirit World has repeatedly shared with me to communicate to clients, it’s this: “SLOW DOWN WITH YOUR MONEY.”

Doesn’t it make sense that if you want to “get real” with your money and “make money real” that a certain sense of “slowing down with money” and “experiencing those money transactions more fully through your body” is key?

It’s what I’m beginning to refer to as the Slow Money Movement. And currently there are about twenty members in this movement. Yep. It’s ready to take off like wildfire.

How does the Slow Money Movement work?
It works something like this:

Please STOP
and BREATHE
and CALM DOWN/FEEL YOURSELF in your body
and then recollect your last money transaction.

Can you do that? Can you remember it? Sometimes, when I ask clients and consultees, they can’t remember their last money transaction.

That’s how fast we are moving. We are moving so fast and mindlessly with our money that we are not paying attention to when and and where and what we’re doing with it. AND we’re not remembering.

And you wonder why there are so many money problems?

Like I said. Slow. Money. Movement.

There is something radically amazing about s-l-o-w-i-n-g d-o-w-n with your money and money relationship. You know what it is?

When you slow down with your money, you are in a space to better notice the nuances of how your body is experiencing your money transactions . . . you begin to SAVOR your money relationship, your money choices. You begin to notice the nuances of what is truly and authentically occurring in your body during money moments . . .

And this is richly fabulous because it gives you so much data about how you’re relating with your money, even if your brain doesn’t know it. I’m learning, in somatic money practices, that the brain frequently lies about money, but your heart, your stomach, your second chakra, your root never lie about how you relate with money.

Given that our culture usually analyzes and thinks about money in the brain, while moving fast, while dis-embodied — those money thoughts and decisions are not taking into account the full nature of our body, our being.

While your brain is busy telling you how to steer your ship one direction, the steering column breaks off and your ship (body) drifts in another direction. It’s mis-aligned money-body relationship. This is why money does not feel real for so many people.

How do you align it? How do you make money real? Slow down. Breathe. Tune in. Relate. Learn. Digest. With your money interactions.

Try this out for me:

The next time you engage in a money transaction, consciously slow down, breathe, feel yourself in the center of your body, and notice how your body is responding to the transaction. And then share, if you want to, below.

If you can slow down enough, to begin to discover what the core of your body and soul are telling you about your money relationship, suddenly, you are in a whole new playing field, rich with the possibility and potential of a new money life.

Simple, yes. Powerful, yes.

Slow. Money. Movement. Try it out.

________________

Be sure to leave your Money Magic Moments and comments below.

Dana Stovern, money medium, helps business-oriented intuitives
and sensitives solve money issues from the inside out.

She can be reached at dana@somaticmoney.com

________________


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Are You Allergic To Money?

A Money Magic Moment

Are You Allergic To Money?
Dissolving Your Polarized Money Relationship For Better Money Health

The Money Stage.
My husband, Bob, and I live just outside a little village in Colorado called Paonia. During my three years here, as Money Magic has more fully developed, I’ve observed this valley’s eclectic socio-economic culture. We have a devoutly conservative coal mining and ranching community, along with a richly organic farming and orchard community. We also have, woven through the community fabric, diversely intelligent, independently liberal, stubbornly renegade creatives and entrepreneurs who are deeply committed to the betterment of community and world.

Yes, it makes for a dramatically polarized Facebook message board that now has three times the membership than the population of the town. We are an entertaining lot — especially when the marijuana vote regularly surfaces.

It’s been a great place to observe community money habits.

By and large, I’ve found that the socio-economic climate here is abrasively challenged with money. There’s a lot (and I mean a lot) of talk about needing and wanting money here, while there is a deeply ingrained non-verbalized sense of not wanting to be seen consorting or colluding with money. It doesn’t help that we live in the second poorest county in the state while one of the wealthiest communities in the world (Aspen, Colorado) thrives on the other side of the mountain range. It is a study in extremes.

Just last week, I was able to put my finger on it when I was in downtown Paonia (one street) at one of the newly opened retail spaces (thank God), visiting with some of the ladies there. We were visiting about this very money conundrum when the words blurted out of me, “You know, people here are just so allergic to money!” I got nods and laughs from this comment because it’s true!

But shhhh! Don’t say that too loud here. You might get in trouble with the secret money no-no police.

Money Allergies.
So, what is a money allergy?

A money allergy works like this: “Service to community good. Money bad.” With the silent inference that money is still needed and will just somehow fall out of the sky to make things work.

A money allergy is the habit of blocking money because consciously or sub-consciously you’ve attached a negative or destructive belief about money, yet you experience needing to relate and function with money because we live in a capitalistic society.

Here are a couple of other examples:

Just a year ago, a director of one of the primary spiritual centers in Boulder, Colorado, one of the most liberal and affluent communities in the state, blurted this out to me: “Oh, we don’t consort with money. It’s just something we have to deal with (on the side). We’re focused only on the soul purpose of good spiritual work.”

I regularly hear this from consultees: “I really don’t manage my money or look at my bank balance, but I spend a lot of time in meditation, working on attracting abundance.”

Or, “I work really hard at the structure of my business in hopes money will develop, but I really don’t look at my books.”

Or “I really want to create this amazing business so that I can serve people, but money is just one of those things that makes me feel icky.”

Notice the disconnects?

These money allergies clearly show compartmentalizing spirituality and the good of community in one space and business and money in another space. It’s the push-pull separating what is being built as “a service to community as a good thing” but since money is considered to be a bad thing “money cannot be present.” Yet the unspoken elephant in the room is that money is still needed to make things functional.

Another way to verbalize the silent question hanging in the air is this: “How can we let money come in to help us with good things when money is attached to so much that is bad?” And that’s an honest question because we have more than enough examples of how money is negatively used to manipulate unhealthy agendas on our planet.

It’s a complex money puzzle that is frequently reduced to good and bad labels because, yes, it is easy to become powerless with your personal money when you see large money sums being used so destructively. But who said you were powerless? You have the power to chose and make change in your personal money life.

So, may I share a way through this booby-trap? It’s simple, yet powerful . . . .

Drop the good/bad money labels
and creatively re-label your money framework.

The bio-physical root of our money labels.
The obvious re-labeling here is recognizing that money can be framed as a constructive resource that can provide good in our lives. Why not begin to see the GOOD that money can do for the GOOD of community. Why do we so frequently fall into the polarized bad/good trap?

That, my friends, is the root of this conundrum, and believe it or not, it’s bio-physically anchored in our bodies.

The polarized “money bad/community service good” is the epitome of the yin/yang spin, the bio-physical landscape of our polarized somatic hemispheres.

We are naturally created in the space of our left and right hemispheres. Left brain and right brain. Left body and right body. Positive and negative ions. Masculine and feminine. This is the natural polarization of our light fields. The Cabalistic Tree Of Life depicting the Flower of Life light architecture supporting our DNA code even notates the Hod (Masculine) and the Netzach (Feminine) in this polarization. That’s big. That’s deep.

We are hardwired to frame our experiences in this light/dark way, and given that money, being the reflective element of water, connected to the second chakra, is going to totally mimic our spiritual perceptual frame-making filters of money.

If you want to take it a metaphysical step further, know this:

In working with hundreds of clients, I’ve psychically read the karmic money soul contracts down through the ages of past lifetimes that the “spirituality good/money bad” dynamic dates back to Biblical times when we swore off the “evil” of money to be “closer to the goodness of God.” It’s commonly referred to as the chastity and poverty contracts that keep individuals cloaked in the dis-empowered humbleness (sometimes crucifixion) of poverty with their gifts. And this is anchored in the dualistic polarity of our light somatics.

So, if you are in a tug-of-war with your money in good and bad labels, you’re right in the heart of experiencing your own polarized money spin — both from this lifetime and potentially others.

Freeing Yourself From Polarized Money.
When you are in this booby-trapped polarization of money allergies, of the dualistic spin of your biological hemispheres, you are allowing your positive and negative polarizations of your hemispheres to assign values to money and what it relates to — maybe even without you knowing. And you’re letting it drive your money engine.

Do you want that?

You have the choice of breaking out of this two-choiced imprisoned money hell, into the fantastic multiple-choice financial answers of multi-dimensionality.

How do you do it? Drop your attachments to your current money labels and get creative in assigning money and what it relates to with new and creative values OUTSIDE the polarized money box of good/bad.

When you do this, you’re breaking code with possibly thousands of years of destructive money habits that have kept you in lock-step with your shortcomings and lack, not your super-powered flow of creative potential.

Think about it. If you are calling the credit card companies those, “F-ing credit card companies” connected with your super-charged debt that are “blocking your ability to do any good in the world,” you’re just adding to that burden. Maybe begin to call them “The benevolent angels of credit light who creatively gift you great breaks and rates and ways through.” Script the change.

Sure, that might be a stretch at first, but when you re-label and reframe your money experience out of the good and evil polarized frame-work, you have just given yourself a spiritual jailbreak.

Remember, spirituality and money, when it vibrationally and physically comes down to it, are not separate. They are woven through one another. So separating God/spirituality from money/business is an effort in futility because money is spiritual and how we define our spirituality – including how we define our spirituality with money – defines how we relate with money.

So, if you are trying to keep money separate from the good stuff, doesn’t that mean you are sending a message to yourself that you’re trying to separate financial support and flow and value and power from the wonderful things that you are creating in your life? That makes life so much more difficult.

Give yourself and your money a break from your financial hay fever season. Dissolve those old labels and celebrate the colorful and fantastical new frameworks you can create! You’re going to surprise yourself out of more than a few of your money allergy booby-traps.

________________

Be sure to leave your Money Magic Moments and comments below.

Dana Stovern, money medium, helps business-oriented initiatives
and sensitives solve money issues from the inside out.

She can be reached at dana@somaticmoney.com

________________